I don’t know if I'm going to be able to articulate what I want to say right now, and part of what I want to say, I think I’ve already said before but, its MY blog! Don’t I have the ‘write’ to say what I want?
I think so.
The only problem with a public blog, is the public part. I wrote in my journal last night to try to get this out of my system, but obviously it didn’t work, so I'm going public.
I'm excited about what lies ahead in my life. It stresses me out, but I am excited. My job may or may not be all that I hope for, moving to USU is going to offer me ways to grow and experience things that I wouldn’t have had in Texas or Provo, and with some luck, school has been going pretty well. I really don’t have anything to complain about.
Yet here I am.
I value loyalty and honesty above all else when it comes to friends. If you lie to me, I will call you on it. If you are ‘fake nice’ I will laugh at you and walk away. But if I do let you in, if you get pasts the countless barriers, endure the façade that is me, you are important.
The fact is I’ve made mistakes in the past, a lot of them actually, But ‘I’ve dealt with my ghosts and I’ve faced all my demons. Finally content with a past I regret.’
Familiarity is always a thing of the past.
Find something, loose it. Find someone, loose them. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that as tight as I grip, nothing ever stays the same.
If I had it my way, I think I would take Justin Clark, Jeffrey Johnson, Sam and Matt Wilmore, Scott Haynie, Brittany Bailey, Chad Hyland, Andrew VanEvery, my family, and a few others to an island, and just live out our days by working and living together. Every night, we would end things by sitting around a campfire on the beach talking about whatever slips out of our mouths.
Unfortunately, a cold hard reality strikes and I'm pulled back to sitting at the crossroads. I know that some of the above people will eventually read this. To them, thanks for the times (good and bad). Thanks for teaching me what you did. I wish things could stay the same forever, but I’m forced to realize they cant, even as bad as I want it to. Sometimes, good things end, and sometimes things just change. Don’t give up on me yet.
“At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me, and I know there’s no guarantees, but I’m not alone. There comes a time in everyone’s life when all you can see are the years passing by and I have made up my mind that those days are gone.”
‘I sold what I could and packed what I couldn’t, stopped to fill up on my way out of town. Ive loved like I should but lived like I shouldn’t. I had to lose everything to find out. Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road. I’m moving on.’
Here goes nothing…
2 comments
Post a Comment