A Steel Magnolia…

Warning – This might be a long one;) 

     Have you ever heard the term? A Steel Magnolia? (Besides being an 1989 Comedy-Drama Film) The order of the words are just a matter of language so lets start with the Magnolia part first.

     When I was a kid, there were two weapons that could be found in the yard for battles. 1) rotten figs picked from the curiously shaped fig tree in between my house and my Grandma’s house. 2) Magnolia Grenades. There were the magnolia blooms that we would pick before they had bloomed. Perfect for throwing as a grenade and equipped with a brittle end perfect for breaking off right before yelling “GRENADE!!” made them the weapon of choice to play with for a bunch of kids.

     However, after blooming , they become one of the most beautiful flowers in the south. While the boys are throwing magnolias, the girls let the bloomed ones fill their nose with their sweet delicate smell.

     A steel magnolia, at least in the south, refers to a woman who, though beautiful and graceful, are also firm in their resolution of who and what they are. They keep the boys and girls alike, entertained, but more importantly, they keep them honest. For all know that one step out of line and the steel part of that magnolia will come flying out.

     A steel magnolia once asked me, “What are your dreams?” I don’t remember what I answered. I am sure however,  it was, “be a millionaire” or something similar. Back then, life was motivated by just that, dreams. The world was limitless and it was yours. Anything could happen. The possibilities tickled your imagination to fantasize about what could happen over the next few years.

     Last night, however, I was asked the same question. “What are your dreams?” I realized that things had changed. No longer am i motivated by dreams. Unfortunately, I have been motivated lately by fear.  I fear not having money, so I work. I fear getting fat, so work out. I fear rejection, so i don't try. The question shouldn't be “Who is going to let you?" but,

“Who is going to stop    you?”

     Suze Orman talks about this fear. She relates the following story.

When I was very young, I had already learned that the reason my parents seemed so unhappy wasn’t that they didn’t love each other; it was that they never had quite enough money even to pay the bills. in our house money meant tension, worry, and sorrow. When i was about thirteen my dad owned his own business, a tiny chicken shack where he sold take-out chicken, ribs, hamburgers, hot dogs, and fries. One day the oil that the chicken was fried in caught fire. In a few minutes the whole place exploded in flames. My dad bolted from the store before the flames could engulf him. This was when my mom and i happened to arrive on the scene, and we all stood outside watching the burn away my dad’s business. All of a sudden my dad realized that he had left his money in the metal cash register inside the building, and i watched in disbelief as he ran back in the inferno, in the split second before anyone could stop him. He tried and tried to open the metal register, but eh intense heat had already sealed the drawer shut. Knowing that every penny had had was locked in front of him, about to go up in flames, he literally picked up the scalding metal box and carried it outside. When he threw the register on the ground, the skin on his arms and chest came with it. He had escaped the fire safely once, untouched. Then he voluntarily risked this life and was severely injured. the money was that important. That was when i learned that money is obviously more important than life itself. From that point on, earning money, lots of money, not only became what drove me professionally, but also became my emotional priority. Money became, for me, not the means to a life rich in all kinds of ways; money became my singular goal.

Fear can not drive us if we are to live healthy, successful lifestyles. I will not let fear drive me. I will drive my life and i will fill it with the things that make me happy. Including Steel Magnolias.