And The Clock Keeps Ticking…

Tick…Tick…….. Tick………….Tick…….

Have you ever waited on time? I think it has to be one of the most boring, wasteful, and frustrating things a person could ever do. I would know, I’m a pro.

Seriously, lets see if we can quickly recap a fraction of the time that I've spent waiting.

1. Waiting for class to be out
2. Waiting for class to start
3. Waiting for church to be out
4. Waiting for a date
5. Waiting to open presents
6. Waiting for the other person to say something
7. Waiting for someone else to fulfill my expectations
8. Waiting for life to make sense
9. Waiting for someone to explain my choices to me
10. Waiting for the next big thing

I think you get the point. I’m frustrated with myself for trying to wait on the next big thing and not really progressing. I find that by waiting on some things that need to be waited on, I inhibit my progression in other areas of life.

It gets worse.

I also find myself wanting to stop time

1. Stopping to be with friends my senior year of high school
2. Stopping the joy of my mission from ending
3. Stopping time from giving me more responsibility
4. Stopping WW III from happening
5. Stopping my age
6. Stopping time when I’m on the lake at mornings break
7. Stopping time when I’m on the mountain at dusk
8. Stopping relationships from ending
9. Stopping from having to make responsible choices
10. Stopping time to enjoy long talks deep into the night with good friends

Good News Though – I found a way to actually accomplish this one I think. Next time something good happens Ill try it out.

I’m incredibly anxious right now. I’m anxious about what life holds, where I should go, who I know, what I know. I’ve recently made some decisions and in all honesty I don’t have a clue where they will lead me. I feel like I’m in the dark and the only thing I can actually see is that stupid second hand slowly ticking by, for better or worse. It wont stop. It wont go faster. It just goes. At a slow, steady, predictable rate, it moves forward and no amount of wishing, whining, pleading, or anxiousness will change it. My last option so far is the oven timer but I don’t have much hope for it.

So, I’ll do what I always end up doing at the end of these posts. I’ll suck it up and enjoy life. I’ve had the chance to in my life to rub shoulders with some really amazing people. I don’t know that they will be President of the US or solve world hunger, but they are good people. I hope that one day I can be worthy of their friendship.

I’ve learned that the only thing I truly cherish, the thing that drives most of decisions, are people. Every second I stare at that clock isn't a second I’ve gained but a second I’ve lost.

Tick………..Tick…………..Tick…….Tick……Tick….Tick…Tick..Tick..Tick.Tick Tick

 

CANT BELIEVE IM POSTING THIS

Because I sign my cards and letters BFF ;)